Disappointed.

Starting weight: 238.2
Current weight: 238.0
Change: -.2lbs

So, I did well from Tuesday-Saturday morning. And then I went to a cook-out to visit some of my family that are in from out of state. I filled my plate with salad and light dressing, other vegetables and cut a steak in half instead of eating the whole thing. I had a very small piece of cake because my grandmother insisted... Sunday was difficult as well. My father and stepmother have got to be the most unhealthy people I have ever met. And they really have such limited knowledge of what is healthy food and what is not. My dad is also trying to lose some weight so he grilled chicken and vegetables that of course he drenched in butter... ugh.

I know that I control what I put into my body, but when the food is there and when it's a social thing with my family, it's just so very difficult to control myself.

I felt like I made better choices, smaller portions than I would have before. I was pleased with that.

In the last post, I said that I would be tracking on livestrong.com, but I've decided to use MyFitnessPal. My screenname there is Krankinnn. MyFitnessPal has a much better app for my Droid phone available than livestrong does.

I'm back on the wagon today, counting calories to the best of my ability and after work I am going to the gym in my new shoes! It will be easier now that I'm back at my mom's house for a few days. My mom bought these Asics for me and I hope that they give more stability and comfort than my old Nike Shox.

Weight

In the rush to get my thoughts down before I went to work yesterday, I didn't add any weight or weight loss goals. I added a ticker to the top of the blog, you can see that I'm starting at 238.2lbs and that I have the goal set to 150lbs.

Because I have no memory of weighing below 180lbs (that's how much I weighed when I started paying any attention to it, in 9th grade or so..) I have no concept of my body or where "healthy" will be for me. I think 150lbs is a good first goal and I can adjust when I get to that point.

I will be using livestrong.com to count calories and track my exercise as well. My account name there is Krankinnn.

150lbs seems so far away. I want to focus on losing 5lbs at a time. Having a manageable way to look at it seems much more practical than having to wrap my mind around losing almost 90lbs.

Last night I made progress toward my fitness goal of being able to walk 3 miles. I walked for 30 minutes and had walked 1.75 miles. I'm pleased with that on my first work out. I could tell how much better and more energized I was feeling after just that much! I can't wait to see how great I will feel as I keep going.

A large part of why I'm getting serious about this now is the fact that I'm effing exhausted ALL THE TIME. I just turned 21 in April and all I've wanted to do is sleep and nap and sleep some more. I was tired after my walk last night, but it was a good tired. Like I had earned it. I want to have more of that feeling and less of this sluggish feeling.

For breakfast, I'm going to have my faaaaaaavorite Special K cereal, Oats and Honey. And a light string cheese for some protein to keep me full until lunch.

Fresh Start

I've had a few blogs before with the same theme-- weight loss and getting healthier. I started blogging over a year ago, but have taken several hiatuses. I wanted a fresh start this time.

The past year has had some successful moments in the getting healthy journey, but overall I have failed miserably several times. As a person who turns to food for comfort in times of stress, sadness, despair, joy, and happiness; it is easy to understand why I haven't left my old habits for good.

This year has also taught me that habits don't change over night. I didn't get this way in a day or a week, and it surely isn't going to change that quickly either. Each meal, each day when I decide to put on my gym clothes and head out the door is an opportunity for success or for failure.  Heeding this lesson is much more difficult than simply realizing that it is true, and from this point forward I am going to try my best to make good decisions at each opportunity.

I will be posting weekly and long-term goals here, and will probably use this space to update new things I learn and to keep a log of my thoughts and feelings along the way.

This week, I plan to:
Drink 8-10 servings of water each day
Avoid fast food (and specifically Sonic's sweet tea...)
Keep a daily log of what I have eaten
Walk 3 miles in one session at the gym or the track

These are all completely do-able goals if I will just, um, hello, DO THEM!

I'll be updating and personalizing the blog throughout this week and hope to have some followers and new friends soon. :)